I detest political bickering on social media. Until very recently I have kept my own party affiliation and preference for President private. You vote how you want to vote, and I’ll do the same.
Back in July of this year a friend shared a video with me of a man singing about which political party he thought was the best fit for his dog. That song got me to thinking about the political affiliations of the pets in my own household. I wrote the following in response.
These assessments capture my pets’ personalities and quirks in an amusing way while at the same time poking a little bit of fun at our political institutions.
At the time that I wrote this, all the pets pictured herein were alive and well. A couple of these sweethearts — Bashful and Harry — have since passed away. But they and their living four-legged siblings would be honored to give you a laugh or two during this contentious political season.
Following are the political affiliations of the members of our little zoo.
Harry “Whizzer” Cat is pretty much a live-and-let-live kind of cat. She is content to be left alone for the most part and tolerates others and their activities pretty well. Whether you’re canine, feline, or cavy, Harry’s fine with it. She’s the Libertarian in residence.
Dobby is the most indecisive of the whole bunch. This cat has a hard time making and sticking to decisions. She waffles back and forth between going outside with her sisters or staying inside by herself. Should she chase bugs? Or watch birds? Or take a nap? She is undecided as to party affiliation but is too nervous to skip voting entirely. Dobby is registered as an Independent.
Hermione as a kitten guarded her food with growls and dirty looks, not daring to share with those who had less, or who had simply eaten faster than her. However, she has become quite tenderhearted of late and now allows those whose plates are empty to join her in their hour of need or moment of gluttony, whichever may be the case. Hermione does not mind others laying claim to what she has on her plate. She is our Socialist.
Bashful is the quieter of our two guinea pigs. Rarely does she have much to say. She is content to go along with her roommate’s shenanigans and takes things as they come. Although well behaved and loved, she rarely speaks her mind, preferring to allow Blondie’s voice to determine the course of action as it pertains to them both. Bashful thinks politics is a waste of time, or at least a waste of a good nap, and has declared no party affiliation. In fact, she’s not even registered to vote at all. She prefers to keep it that way.
Blondie is registered as a Democrat, but we suspect she has Communist leanings. Blondie is largely unsatisfied with the rate at which food is dispensed from the refrigerator and with the quantity that is received. She is deeply disappointed in the private ownership of the refrigerator and judicious use of funds by her capitalist caretakers. She has lobbied for ownership of said appliance and its contents to be taken over by the government in the erroneous belief that only then will she finally receive her fair share of Romaine lettuce.
Which leaves us with Holly…
Holly is the oldest member of the pet family. I guess you could say she’s part of the “Establishment.” Holly is “Old School.” She fondly remembers a time when her territory was not overrun by this riff-raff of guinea pigs, cats, and the occasional undocumented turtle.
Holly often hearkens back to the Good Ol’ Days. She is ever on the lookout for someone to return this little kingdom of hers back to its Glory Years. The most likely candidate for this is her Grandmother, who regularly contributes to her campaign to remain top dog with things like leftovers, large boxes of Milk Bones, and Cheez-Its.
Holly firmly rejects all social programs designed to give assistance to those in need or a hand up to those less fortunate than herself. She has worked very hard to charm her owners and Grandmother out of those campaign contributions and feels it is an injustice and travesty to be forced through taxation or coercion into sharing with others. Turtles, possums, birds, ants, the neighbors’ cats, and all other freeloaders are looked upon with complete disdain and run off the premises immediately with the advice to get a job securing their own future. Holly is a Republican.
© 2015-2016 Our Lives in Stories